Ups and Downs

Ah, it's been a month of ups and downs.  Mostly ups, so I'm trying to focus on those.  I've been working on keeping a positive attitude, and I think I've done pretty well.  Today is hard though.  I slacked off last week and gained some weight back :(  But I'm trying not to let that get me down.  Just stay focused on the fact I have been loosing.

Last weekend was a crazy whirlwind.  Long story short - we bought a motorcycle!  Hubby has always wanted one, and we've talked about saving up for someday.  But he stumbled across a deal that was just too good to pass up.  So money will be a little tight for a few weeks.  But it's worth it.  He is so excited!  And I am so happy he was able to realize a lifelong dream!

I have stayed mostly on top of school work.  There have been a few days we didn't get all our assignments done.  Even one day we just skipped.  But I make sure to get caught up by the end of the week.  I am excited that my Little Man is starting to read pretty well, but it kinda makes me sad too.  Because I realize how much more attention and hard work I am giving him and this stage of his schooling than I gave my Angel.  Live and learn I suppose.  And I am glad I am getting better at this.  But I still feel really bad that I didn't do so well with my Angel.  Like I'm letting him down.  He is starting to do much better though.  Hopefully I'll get him caught up soon.

After two weeks of living in a dump, I am finally getting caught up on housework again too.  After 12 solid hours (over two days) of folding and hanging, the laundry is caught up!  I cleaned out and organized all the boys drawers, their closet, and my closet.  I think I'll work on my drawers this week.  Fall Cleaning always makes me feel better.

I love Fall so much!  It is definitely my favorite time of year.  The weather is beautiful, and there are so many chances to get together with family!  Someday I'll have a home more conducive to entertaining and I can keep it filled with guests.  Still not sure if that will mean major remodeling or moving.  But we are making a lot of progress in fixing up this home.  My back room is almost finished.  All that is lacking is trim.  And I just went ahead and moved furniture in this week.  And as soon as I finished unloading/moving/reloading my old worn out bookcases, my m-i-l told me about some nicer, matching bookcases I could go pick up!  So I get to do it all over again.  But it will look even better :)

Oh, and my workouts.  I get to start walking with a precious friend this week.  She's recovering from surgery and has to "take it easy" for 4-6 weeks.  So we are going to walk 5 miles 3-4 times a week!  I have a feeling it won't be as "easy" for me.  But she is much farther along this journey of life-change and I am super excited to learn from her :)

Amazing Day

I have had an amazing Sunday.  Great Sunday School class with my girls.  Amazing worship service.  Good lunch with family.  Got a little bit of housework done.  Relaxing and watching football.  Pretty much a perfect Sunday.

It has been a really rough week.  I've been struggling with a lot of things.  Not being as organized as I'd like.  Not being able to get back into my workout routine, even though I'm finally well.  Not being content with the blessings God has given me.  Not understanding some theological issues.  Feeling like I'm not on the same page with Hubby in a lot of ways.

But today was amazing.  As I prepared to teach this morning, I felt like God was speaking to me.  We managed to all get up, and get ready, and have time to go out for breakfast before church.  During breakfast God used a simple conversation to show me Hubby and I are in fact on the same page.  Sunday School went really well.  All three boys sat quietly through worship service.  And it was one of those incredible services, where everything flows together perfectly, and God was speaking directly to my heart.  Almost every sentence the pastor spoke was answering a specific question I had been struggling with this week.

After church I got to visit with my Baby Sister, and we ended up going out to eat with her family, her in-laws who are in town, and our other Sister.  We had a great time talking over great food.  I have gotten quit a bit of housework done, as well as relaxed a lot since we've been home.  And I got to watch football :)

I am so refreshed and so ready to start a new week.  It's going to be hard - I've got to decorate a cake for my niece's 1st birthday party tomorrow, as well as get the boys schoolwork done.  But I am ready!  I can do it!

Ugh!

I am so sick of being sick!  I cannot stop coughing and I cannot find my voice!  It is so frustrating!!!

Tomorrow I am going to start watching my diet again, after a whole week off.  I am a little scared to get on the scales.  But I will in the morning.  See what the damage is.  But I don't think I will work out.  I would just end up in a coughing fit before I could even get started.

I stayed mostly caught up on school work.  I did at least a few lessons each day.  And by the end of Friday we had only two lessons not completed.  One was a science experiment we didn't have the supplies for, the other is a math lesson.  Last week was really math heavy.  I realized I do need to actually look at Angel's lessons ahead of time to be prepared.  We have three more science experiments due this week, two of which will take all week to complete, if not longer.  I need to watch ahead for book reports too, so he doesn't have to try to read a whole book and write in one day.

And this afternoon I finally sucked it up and cleaned most of the house.  I got the living room clean, the kitchen clean, my room mostly picked up, and a few loads of laundry done.  I feel better having a clean house.  Still coughing my head off, but I do like a clean house.

Update - I forgot Hubby was off Monday, so no such thing as a regular schedule.  But I did track my food diary and stayed right at my calorie goal.  I weighed in this morning, and I am still losing!  Made me feel so much better!  One more pound last week makes a total of 8 pounds since I began this journey in August.  And I managed to get in 15 minutes of cardio before the coughing fit.  So happy to be moving again!

Here we go go go go... on an adventure!

I am learning it is actually a lot of fun to go out and do things outside my house by myself.  It's still a little scary to actually head out, but I always have fun.  I've already posted about going out to refresh Grandma's flowers, but that was only the beginning of the adventure.  I traveled almost 200 miles!  All by myself!

First stop was the post office, but since they were not open yet, it was on to Chick-fil-a.  I would just like to say, I adore Chick-fil-a.  I love their food, I love their employees, I love their business concept, I love everything about them.  I had picked up boxed meals for our church fellowship meal last Wednesday from them.  They gave me all the sandwiches in this nifty warmer thing that kept them toasty and fresh until I served them.  It was awesome.  So I went back Saturday morning to return the nifty warmer thing.  And they gave me free breakfast for returning it.  Did I mention I love Chick-fil-a??

Then I headed down to Wortham and took care of the flowers.  As long as I was down their, I decided to check out the town.  I found a little antique store and perused for a while.  Then I drove around randomly looking at houses.  After one last drive past Grandma's resting place I got to thinking about my Grandmother who was still living.  I hadn't seen her in a few months.  Since I was already so far from home, I decided to head up and see her.  So I drove up to Edgewood.  Another 2 hours.  But I took some smaller country highways.  The drive was actually quite beautiful.  I hate to drive, but I actually enjoyed it.  We are experiencing what passes for Fall here in the great state of Texas.  And in East Texas they actually have trees.  Lots of trees.  Big trees.  And they were starting to change a little red.  It was quite beautiful.

When I got close I called my Grand-mommy and let her know I was coming.  She got really excited.  When I got there I discovered my Daddy was already there.  He was doing some chores and visiting.  So we all visited.  Grand-mommy wanted to show me how her boys (my Daddy and uncles) had remodeled her bathroom so she could get in there with her walker.  And she showed me her new vanity table with the lights.  We discussed my new interest in antiquing.  I was trying to explain some antique school desks I had found and wished I could have bought for our school room.  The kind were the desk for one is attached to the back of the bench.  You put them in a line in front of the other. 

Granddaddy remembered he used to have some antique school desks.  They might be still out in the shed.  I just had to go look!  We only found one.

I texted my aunt, who is a teacher, before I took it home, and she wanted to keep it.  But we found some other amazing stuff!

The scythe my Granddaddy used to cut hay when he was a boy:

A set of World Book Encyclopedias:

And not one, but two of these old reel-to-reel tape players:

It was even more fun than the antique malls, because of the stories I got with each piece I found!  I am so glad I took the time to go visit with them.

When I left them I stopped at the farmer's market in their small town.  I found some great pumpkins, some delicious fresh strawberries, and a jar of local honey with the comb inside (a special treat for my Hubby :)

On the way back to the big city I decided to stop at this huge General Store that I've always wondered what it was.  They were kind of cleaning up and getting ready to close, but they had a ton of iron... stuff?  Door knockers, hanging hooks, decorations, all kinds of stuff.  I found some coat hangers for my front entry.

By the time I finally made it home, I realized I was exhausted.  But it was really a great day.  I went out on my own and had a blast!

Fall Respects

Well, it's Fall.  Sort of.  Fall in Texas means it's only in the 90's, and we finally got a smattering of rain.  We did have a few brief moments of cool.  And it got me thinking.  About Grandma actually.  That woman was obsessive about tending to her parents' and her husband's grave.  She traveled all the way down to Wortham, Texas at least 4 times a year to change the flowers.  To be sure they were seasonal.  So obsessive in fact that she had my Mother-in-Law take her down just weeks before she passed away.  And although she didn't have the strength to get out of the car, she made sure the flowers were summer.  So when I found myself with a day all to myself, which also happened to be the first full day of Fall, I knew what I had to do.  I went and found some flowers, and drove down to change them out.  I think she would like them.

I also changed out the flowers on her parent's grave, which is right beside this hers.

I took enough flowers to do her sister's grave also, but it looked like her family has been bringing flowers of their own.  And after consulting both my husband and Mother-in-Law decided to leave a small bouquet.

So relax Grandma, as long as I am able, I will make sure your flowers are always in season.  It's the least I can do.

Busy Busy Busy

Oh, will the busyness ever slow down?  Probably not.  I've been handling it fairly well I suppose.  No more anxiety attacks since I've been monitoring my caffeine intake.  No caffeine while PMSing = no anxiety attacks :)  Although I am still having crazy mood swings and hot flashes :(  My PCP was not able to help me with my PCOS symptoms.  But she did send off for a few tests for diabetes and my thyroid.  Still waiting for those results.  Now I need to see my GYN about the PCOS.  And since I've already had my annual back in February, I don't think my insurance will cover another visit.  So I have to decide if I want to shell out the extra cash or wait until February. 

School has been going pretty well.  My angel is actually reading!!  Hubby was home and helped on Monday.  He forced him to read his questions, and guess what??  He can!!  I know he's not really up to grade level, but he can read.  Pokey Little Puppy is doing pretty well also.  He has good days and bad.  I have learned during lecture time to let him roll.  He still listens and he's happier about listening.  Squirt wants his turn too, I need to find more time to work with him also.

I've found a new workout.  I'm doing a new 30 min dance cardio every day.  And I'm doing an additional 30 min boot camp.  It's pretty killer.  I enjoy the intensity but the lunges are killing my knee.  I need to remember to wear my brace.  I like that I am working out so hard, but I really hate being sore. 

I am up to 7 pounds lost on my ticker above, super excited about that!  Slow and steady loss means it is more likely to stay lost.  I was able to talk to my doctor about the weight loss, she put in a recommendation for a consult with a dietician.  Hopefully my insurance will cover at least part of it, but even if it doesn't I am hoping to have at least a few meetings.  I am really believing I can do this.  I may need to adjust my goal weight, but I can definitely get to a point of being fit and healthy. 

Oh the guilt!

I am feeling really guilty today.  I am actually proud of myself.  I am up to an hour of cardio 5-6 days a week.  But this morning, My Angel woke up too early.  I mean, I am getting up at 5am now!  And he still got up before I was done.  I sent him back to bed.  I just can't work out as well with the kids just sitting there watching me.  So I felt a little guilty about that.  But then I could hear My Squirt coughing his poor little lungs out, and I still finished my last 15 minute set.  Yeah, I'm terrible.  I am reasonably certain it's just allergies and the weather changing - not pneumonia or anything.  But I still feel terrible.  And then when I got him up I just gave him medicine and tucked him in on the couch to watch cartoons while I went ahead with my shower and morning routine.

I've been feeling guilty about ignoring him lately anyway, the fact that he hasn't seemed like he feels good for the past few days just makes it worse.  I've been so busy trying to get into the swing of school, and really buckle down and do a good job this year.  He doesn't get much cuddle time anymore.  I've really got to make more time for him.  Pretty soon he won't want to sit and cuddle anymore!

Kind of a side note, I think I've come a long way these past few months.  Sleeping in is now 7:30-8:00 instead of 10:00.  My house is pretty clean most of the time.  I cook more often than we go out.  We have stayed on track with school work.  I'm even studying all week long for my Sunday School lesson, instead of Saturday night (or Sunday morning!).  I'm starting to believe I can reach my weight loss goal.  Not any time soon of course, but someday.

I am going to the doctor this week for a check up.  I also need to ask about PCOS.  My gyn has told me I have it, but not much about it.  I read a forum on MFP about some of the difficulties and realized I should probably seek some sort of treatment.  All of the symptoms I've been frustrated with lately actually point to PCOS, not super early menopause.  And PCOS increases my risk for diabetes, which is already in my family, and I'm really overweight, so I need to keep that monitored more closely.  More motivation to loose the weight!  But since PCOS makes it harder to loose weight, I think it's time for professional help.