Wow

So, I just realized it's been 7 and a half months since I posted!  First of all, the house I mentioned fell through.  It sold before we could get our act together.  I was depressed for a while, but I've learned a lot from the experience.  I'm trying to focus on paying off our debt and getting this house ready to be sold.  Weight has been up and down.  I'm finally starting to believe my beloved friend when she tells me to ignore the numbers.  I'm working with my doctor to try to loose the weight and treat my PCOS with some medications, and my beloved friend is keeping motivated to work out and take care of myself. 

I am SO stinking proud of myself right now, we have not been out to eat in almost a week!  I am - total shocker here - COOKING!  I'm cooking breakfast when I get home from the gym, packing Andy's lunch, and even cooking dinner every night!  And an even bigger shocker here - keeping the kitchen clean besides!!  It is SOOOOO much easier to make myself cook instead of going out when I just have to walk into the kitchen and start cooking vs cleaning the kitchen only to make a big mess.  And waking up to a clean kitchen is incredible!!

This past weekend I planned a menu for the next two weeks, planned a shopping list, bought all the groceries I need, and have been preparing freezer meals!  I have a supply of 5 meals in the freezer I can just pull out and throw in the oven or crock pot.  Plus I'm going to try today to get some more soups made and packaged in serving sizes for lunch.  I even MADE granola bars to eat on the way to the gym.  I am feeling like such a good homemaker :)

Today anyway.  I was really depressed last week.  Since I haven't posted since the beginning of the year, I'll just put down the whole story.  Between January and May my weight stayed pretty much the same.  Working out consisted of some dance workouts 2 or 3 times a week, maybe some yoga.  Sometimes I counted calories meticulously, sometimes I didn't care.  I think it was around the middle of May I had a huge breakdown.  But that's where my dear, beloved, amazing, wonderful friend stepped in and helped me refocus.  She's now my gym buddy once a week.  I'm at the gym 5 days a week, only doing cardio so far.  I've tried weights a few times, but I hate so much being sore, I started skipping days at the gym.  So I decided cardio is fine for now, as long as I'm going consistently.  The most important thing my beloved friend is teaching me is to ignore the numbers.  She is really good at this.  Me... not so much.  It took a solid month of working out consistently for the stupid scale to start moving.  It was soooooo frustrating.  And then it moves so slowly!!  But, I began to see how she was right.  Then, I got sick and missed a couple of days at the gym.  And I had one weekend of completely not paying attention to what I was eating.  Suddenly I gained back .4 of those 5 pounds I had worked so hard to loose!  So of course I freaked out and fell back into old habits.  Pushing hard at the gym, counting every calorie, getting on that cursed scale every morning.  And I ended up gaining 2 whole pounds!!  After a huge pity party/temper tantrum I realized, I was letting the numbers control me again.  So I quit counting.  Funny thing, those two pounds disappeared.  And I feel much better! 

School with the boys is going very well.  We got really frustrated with the end of our last school year, and after much agonizing and studying I chose a new curriculum.  I LOVE it.  I feel like I am actually in control of it, instead of it controlling me.  The boys are loving it.  My oldest actually came up to me and said, "I never thought I'd say this, but I actually like school."  I was floored.  That alone was worth the months spent researching and trying to decide, the hours fighting the crowd at the book fair, and the extra expenses.  Oh - yes, we have already started school.  Since I am in control, I set the schedule.  So we'll have 6 weeks of school, and then 2 weeks of break, throughout the year.  Plus 4 weeks off for summer. Here in Texas it's too darn hot to be outside in July-August, so we might as well be doing school now, and take our time off in the cooler parts of the year!

Another big milestone, my birthday is fast approaching!  It's the big 3-0 this year.  I've laughed at all my friends from school freaking out of facebook about how they are so old.  And then freaked out a little myself.  But mostly I think I'm ok with it.  I've accomplished quite a bit in my 30 years on this earth.  And I am proud of most of it.  I've planned myself a nice road trip with Hubby to celebrate, and I'm getting super excited about that at least!