Oh the guilt!

I am feeling really guilty today.  I am actually proud of myself.  I am up to an hour of cardio 5-6 days a week.  But this morning, My Angel woke up too early.  I mean, I am getting up at 5am now!  And he still got up before I was done.  I sent him back to bed.  I just can't work out as well with the kids just sitting there watching me.  So I felt a little guilty about that.  But then I could hear My Squirt coughing his poor little lungs out, and I still finished my last 15 minute set.  Yeah, I'm terrible.  I am reasonably certain it's just allergies and the weather changing - not pneumonia or anything.  But I still feel terrible.  And then when I got him up I just gave him medicine and tucked him in on the couch to watch cartoons while I went ahead with my shower and morning routine.

I've been feeling guilty about ignoring him lately anyway, the fact that he hasn't seemed like he feels good for the past few days just makes it worse.  I've been so busy trying to get into the swing of school, and really buckle down and do a good job this year.  He doesn't get much cuddle time anymore.  I've really got to make more time for him.  Pretty soon he won't want to sit and cuddle anymore!

Kind of a side note, I think I've come a long way these past few months.  Sleeping in is now 7:30-8:00 instead of 10:00.  My house is pretty clean most of the time.  I cook more often than we go out.  We have stayed on track with school work.  I'm even studying all week long for my Sunday School lesson, instead of Saturday night (or Sunday morning!).  I'm starting to believe I can reach my weight loss goal.  Not any time soon of course, but someday.

I am going to the doctor this week for a check up.  I also need to ask about PCOS.  My gyn has told me I have it, but not much about it.  I read a forum on MFP about some of the difficulties and realized I should probably seek some sort of treatment.  All of the symptoms I've been frustrated with lately actually point to PCOS, not super early menopause.  And PCOS increases my risk for diabetes, which is already in my family, and I'm really overweight, so I need to keep that monitored more closely.  More motivation to loose the weight!  But since PCOS makes it harder to loose weight, I think it's time for professional help.