Vainity?

I woke up this morning and realized it is almost July. Where did June go? It was a blur of VBS, hospital, funeral and family.

Grandma's funeral went very well. I was, however, reminded once again of the extra stress and difficulty a broken home continues to cause. But we made it through very nicely. One thing that surprised me at the viewing was how good Grandma looked. I usually try to avoid looking at the body, because it doesn't look like them. No offense to the people who work very hard to make the body look good, but death takes it's toll. But Grandma looked so good. It was the first time I have honestly expected the body to just, sit up and say, "Ha ha, I got you!" She looked like when she would fall asleep sitting in her chair reading a book. If you made a noise she would start with that little, "Oh!" Super kudos to the staff at Wade Family Funeral Home in Arlington. Grandma looked great, you were incredibly helpful, and you even stood out in that awful heat in your suits at the graveside!

I've been doing very good for the past 3 weeks, in spite of all the chaos, to get up and do my work out, AND get dressed (presentably) and ready for the day. I am rather proud of myself if I do say so. I went out and bought a new dress, and all new accessories to be sure I looked appropriate for the funeral. All this taking care of myself is starting to feel a little vain though. I've been a slob for so long, it feels weird. I suppose I'll have to get used to it. Overall, I really do feel good about myself. I may not be the skinniest, or the prettiest, or the most stylish. But trying feels good. Being active feels good. Keeping my home clean feels good. That's right, I have kept my home clean - CLEAN - for the past 3 weeks! I like this new me, I hope I can keep her around. Because I know I can learn to love her.

Relaxation

Ah...... I finally made it to that point. The wedding is over, I feel like I can relax now. I kind of feel like I have turned a corner. I've been working really hard on cakes the past two months. And they all turned out really well. I may even have some non-friend paying customers soon! What is this strange feeling? Oh, wait, it's confidence!! I haven't felt like this in a long time.

On the exercise front, I tried Zumba last night. Not in front of anyone of course, Andy bought me a wii Zumba! I tried to learn a few steps, but the instruction is basically non-existent, so I just jumped into a workout. I lasted through the warm-up. But I got moving! I'm hoping to find time to try again tonight. If not I'll definitely have to get up in the morning. It is pretty fun.

And I've also started a special little bit of self care. I'm really excited about doing something I've always wanted to do! But still really nervous about actually telling anyone. So for now, all I'll say is I am expressing myself creatively, and it feels great! Someday, I may be able to share it with the world at large, and make money at it. But for now it just makes me really happy!

Way to Love Your Body #1

I found this list, compiled by Margo Maine, Ph.D, on the National Eating Disorders Association website. I have decided to work my way through it on my blog, probably once a week.

Today, I'll start with #1 Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.

My body is worthy of honor. My body is worthy of respect. My body is worthy of fuel. Not because it is my body, but because it was created by God. It is His temple. I will honor and respect and fuel it for His glory!

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

January 29, 2011

Well, another week has come and gone. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I got up early and did a full work out this morning, cleaned up and fixed myself up - even though we didn't go anywhere. I've cooked to big meals today. After 3 days of the machines running non stop I am caught up on laundry. The house is as clean as it needs to be. It's been a pretty relaxing day :)

As far as my goals for this week, I walked twice at the increased speed but once at the old speed. The increased speed was making the incline too hard (i.e. requiring my inhaler) and I'd rather keep the incline than the speed. I did a resistance workout I found online twice. It is killing my legs!! I'm not sure about my arms though. I've decided not to mess with the yoga anymore, because somehow it's making my back hurt. Must be doing something wrong, but I'd need a professional to fix it. So I definitely met one goal completely. The other two I'll be modifying for next week. Hopefully pretty soon I'll figure out a workout schedule that works for me and makes me work!

January 19, 2011

Wow. Really bad day. But, I survived the day. I asked for help when I needed it, and took care of what I needed to. Yesterday I just felt really bad about it all. But today I can look at it and say I handled everything ok. I really need to work on controlling these panic attacks though!